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7 Important, but Uncomfortable Truths about Life and Love

Posted: November 9, 2017 at 6:54 pm   /   by   /   comments (0)

There are many uncomfortable truths about life and live that we could talk about, but we will limit it to 7 here, as that is probably all any person could be expected to handle in one sitting. Life is not perfect, things don’t always go our way, and sometimes our heart gets broken. Life owes you nothing, you actually have to work for your accomplishments. The people we like are not necessarily going to like us back, and we don’t always live happily ever after.

The guy always gets the girl in movies and poems, but real life is more complex than that pleasant narrative. No matter how hard you try, some things will go awry; it doesn’t mean you are inadequate or inept; that’s just how life is. For instance, in the 12th century, Asian brides used to bind their feet in a painful procedure to look attractive to suitors but not all of them married the man of their dreams. So if you are looking for contentment in life, you should understand that not everything will work out for you in your love life.

  1. Things will not always go your way in life, no matter how you hard you work.

The truth is that no matter how hard we work, no matter how many extra hours or effort we out in, things will not always go our way. We may have worked long and hard assuming that things will somehow work out is we just keep going. This is not always the case, in fact this is often not the case. Some of the most successful people in this world were epic failures the 1st or 23rd time around. The difference was that they kept picking themselves up and trying new things, until they finally achieved what they were trying for.  Imagine if Michael Jordan or Steve Jobs had just given up the first time they stumbled? Imagine a life without Einstein or Franklin. We have many of the necessities, memories, and luxuries because of these people who did not stop when things did not go their way.

  1. Sometimes the person you like/love does not feel the same way about you, and your heart will be broken.

As is actually the case more often than not, the person that we like/love does not feel the same about us, or vice versa. Until we meet “the one,” dating will be a series of relationships where one person likes the other person more than the other, and the other person ends up hurt and heartbroken. Sometimes you are on the giving end, and sometimes you are on the receiving end. It never feels good, but it is the process we all have to go through in our search for the right fit.

  1. Despite what we believe, life owes us nothing, we have to work for the things that we want, and even those are not guaranteed. 

Were you bestowed with the idea that life owes you something? That there are things that you are guaranteed just for being you? Well, sorry to break it to you, but life owes us nothing. There are no promises, and there is no roadmap for riches and success. The best we can do, is the best we can do, and hope that this is enough. If we have a good work ethic, a kind heart, and the right intentions, things just might go our way. In the end, that is all we have control over, and the best that we can do.

  1. No matter how much we love each other in the beginning, we do not always end up with happily ever after. 

I like to believe that most couples who get married, or promise to be together for life, mean it when they say it. Whether it be to each other, or in front of 500 of their closest friends. Even the best couples, the couples that everyone thinks will be together forever, can have a series of unfortunate events that strip away at the fabric of their relationship. After years of adversity, animosity, and trying to repair what is now broken, the couple decides they cannot continue on. This has nothing to do with intentions, it is not one parties fault, but sadly, it is the reality of 50% of couples.

  1. You are responsible for you and you alone. You cannot change anyone else, you can only change how you let them impact you. 

Many people go through life believing they are going to fix or change others. The fact of the matter is that you have to deal with the reality that in almost all cases, you are getting what you are taking. Be realistic about what you are getting yourself into, or about the people in your life. The relationships that you hold out hope can change, the lifelong habits that you are sure someone is suddenly going to stop, are not going to happen. The only person in this life we are responsible for, or have any control over is ourselves. So decide how you are going to let people and things impact you, and close the chapter on the belief that you can control anything else. I promise you will have more peace and calm if you can accept this one fact.

  1. Most people are making it up as they go along. Not many people are as together and perfect as they appear. 

Most of us are just trying to do the best we can. We get up, shower, try to make ourselves presentable, and go to work and try to make it through the day without any major catastrophes. While some people may be able to put off a vibe of self-confidence and put togetherness, they are likely just playing the part too….they have just perfected it. Do you know all those social media pictures of perfect people, with their perfect relationship, and their perfect family? FAKE! This is the presentation that they want you to see of them. Most people only post the best moments of their lives, and not the day to day realities. Their lives are just like ours, they just don’t show us that part. Take solace in this, they are just as imperfect as you!

  1. Bad things happen to good people for no reason. 

As sad as this lesson is, it is unfortunately true. Bad things happen to good people, and there is no reasonable explanation for it. Little kids get ill, couples who are desperate for children try for years to no avail, and we lose someone we love far too soon. It is uncomfortable to talk about, and it is a fact of life that no one wants to admit, as they are afraid that they will be impacted by it. The reality is that at some point in their life, they will be touched by someone in their life being dealt a raw deal, no matter how good a person they were. Because of this sad and uncomfortable truth, I cannot think of a better reason to appreciate those in our lives each day that we have together, good or bad, because at least we have the satisfaction of knowing we loved and appreciated them.

Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. LCPC, Contributor [Tele-health counselor for, Adjunct Professor, Consultant, and Writer]


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