Relationships are delicate, and when they’re starting to feel like they’re breaking down, if you are interested in salvaging your connection, you need to stop the rifts from getting any larger before the whole thing comes crashing down. Some people will try to stop a relationship’s end through mediation, while others will simply let it implode.
When your relationship is on unstable ground, seeking counseling is important. A relationship counselor can help your get your relationship back on track by teaching some of the following skills. In the meantime, sending flowers is a great way to express what you are wanting to relay as a means of forgiveness or how you feel. Click here for more details.
Managing Conflict
When a couple is having an argument, it’s hard to maintain an objective position, and emotions can get the best of either partner. Unsurprisingly, both parties want to be in the right, and in most cases, get the last word in. This causes the couple to keep escalating the argument until one of them eventually explodes.
This is not how you should handle arguments – instead, maintain a cool head and communicate clearly and calmly and work together to reach a compromise. Arguments are going to happen in any relationship; it’s unrealistic to think you can avoid disagreements entirely. However, learning how to handle arguments in a calm way can help the couple grow together, rather than growing apart.
Counseling helps fix issues related to conflict by examining the elements of your argument (emotions, communication styles, language used, etc.) and identifying the behaviors, and explaining how the conflict could have been handled in a more positive way. Your counselor may use cognitive behavioral therapy, where negative thought patterns are identified, examined, and changed to encourage more positive or realistic ones.
Ending Miscommunication
Sometimes, arguments are caused by miscommunication, misunderstanding, or some combination of the two, among other things. If your partner mishears what you’re trying to say, you may get angry. You might feel like you couldn’t have voiced your concerns more clearly, and they still missed the point. However, what you may not have realized is that what makes sense to you might need to be presented in a different way to your partner.
Then there’s the problem of lack of effective communication. Let’s say there’s a quirk that bothers you about your spouse, like the fact that they don’t pick up after themselves enough. You ignore this for a while, or maybe you drop subtle hints here and there, but their behavior doesn’t change. Then, it starts to really grate on you. Soon, you get so annoyed over the smallest of messes that you explode at your partner.
A counselor will be able to guide the couple in expressing things they don’t like about their partner and/or relationship in a healthy, respectful way, and then will help them work together for a solution for both parties. The relationship therapist can also examine the couple’s communication and try to help make it more effective for their relationship.
A Therapist can Help a Couple Reach Their Goals
Sometimes, a couple may have an argument may be because of differing goals. Maybe one person in the relationship wants a particular job for better personal opportunities and development, but getting that job will interfere with what their partner wants (e.g., more quality time, less stress for their partner at work, etc).
A therapist can help the couple determine a middle ground that keeps both parties satisfied, or find a way for both parties to reach their goals while complementing each other. Even if both people have the same goals, a counselor can still help by assisting the couple to plan together in reaching their goal.
Online Therapy is There When You Need It
Online counseling services such as BetterHelp allow you to access counseling around the clock. If you and your partner experience an argument late one evening, an online counselor may still be available to mediate the situation, where a traditional counselor’s office hours have long been surpassed. When you’re on-the-go, you can speak to a counselor who will be able to work with you as long as you have an Internet connection.
Couples Therapy can Make You Realize You Weren’t Meant to Be
Most people who go through couples therapy are satisfied with their results. However, just being satisfied doesn’t mean that the relationship itself was fixed. Sometimes, the relationship just wasn’t meant to be, and counseling can help the couple to realize this. Therapy can help end the relationship on good and healthy terms, rather than in a disaster.
These are just a few reasons why you should seek therapy if you and your partner are on the rocks. Talk to a therapist today and see how they can help.
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.
